Not bad...
Not really my thing so don't take any of this too seriously. The vocals were less than great IMO. The problem seems to be that she sounds very young.. too young - and it seems to take a moment or two for her to find the right key. - The music however is decent if a little on the standard - dance to it - side. You didn't do anything wrong, but you also haven't broken any new ground. The melodies - although they did work themselves out eventually felt a little odd - not really a bad thing - but they did sound a little like you were doing something 'unexpected' with the melody only for the sake of not doing a standard progression. The stabs were a little corny. My advice, lose the vocals - or apply a really wicked treatment to 'em - avoid over smoothing the vocals too as the more you try to cover up little mistakes in the vocals by processing them, the more apparent it becomes that they needed to be fixed.
Pretty good overall - I wouldn't listen to it in my car or anything but it shows that you have talent in the area.
Keep it up!