Lots of possibilities
I though you did a great job on this - something about it sounds a bit Lo-Fi.
Would make a great tune for a game menu or intro.
I'm voting 4 on this
- why not 5 you ask? OK.. here goes -
in a word : timbres
Re-assign your drums - use a few nontraditional sounds - the bass and melody were fine but they sounded a little like presets - they were missing something - maybe a few basic effects - a tiny bit of reverb goes a long way - that's about it